12 signs you’re drunk

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20th Jan 2020

Sure, you’ve downed 12 pints, but you’re still feeling alright. The question is, are you sober or are you so drunk you’ve convinced yourself the alcohol has no effect. Well, look out for any of the signs below to see if you really are off your trolley.

1 – The Thought Of A Microwave Burger Sounds Amazing

You’d never eat it when sober, so why does it seem so enticing the moment a certain quantity of alcohol has entered the system?

 

2 – Finding Your ID Is Mission Impossible

There is no worse feeling than approaching the bouncer and then facing the impossible task of finding your ID without looking wasted. Just don’t show your bank card twice, they won’t let you in.

 

3 – You Keep Repeating Yourself, You Keep Repeating Yourself

This will largely be picked up by a sober friend who will, ironically, keep repeating the fact you keep repeating yourself.

 

4 - £5 Sounds Like A Decent Price For A Pint

£5, you’re having a laugh?! Well, the moment the drink enters your mouth the price stops being a consideration. Hmmm, the exception might be the Centre of London. £12 for a single and mixer??

 

5 – Your Phone Becomes A Danger

Messaging an ex, telling your family how much you love them, telling a mate they should be out with you, or posting ridiculous images on Instagram, your phone becomes the source of your regret the next day.

 

6 – Snapchat Filters With No Fear

Augmented reality is amazing, however the moment you’ve had a drink, there is no logical filter system in place to stop you posting ridiculous videos of you standing next to a dancing hot dog.

 

7 – It’s Time For A Jig

Whether you’re confident on the dancefloor or nervous at the side, you still want to move your body in unnatural ways.

 

8 – Music Must Be LOUD

It’s time to pump up the jam, this is my song!!

 

9 – You Will Order Something Silly Online

Because who doesn’t need an oversized bean bag in their room? Amazon is way too quick and easy to make orders.

 

10 – You Promise Yourself You Will Do All These New Life Events

Travelling through South East Asia, getting a dog, going to a zumba classs, you are determined to do it all when drunk, until the hangover kicks in and reality returns.

 

11 – Your Volume Just Stepped Up

Your friends might be sitting right alongside you, but your voice still needs to be louder than a screaming baby.

 

12 – Tequila or Sambuca Are A Must

They taste like hell and push you beyond drunk into paraletic, yet we can never conceive why it was a good idea at the time.